Interweb mystery solved

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A friend contacted me this week to ask how to get hold of a print copy of my recently published book, Girdle of Bones. Since it’s supposed to be available on Amazon, I went hunting to see if I could locate it for her.

My interwebs hunt was no more successful than hers. Whilst I did find the eBook version (and some great reviews – thanks, folks), I too failed to find the print version. Much frustration and a follow up with Amazon solved the mystery. They’ve tucked it away on their direct print site, making it a tad had to find. If you’re interested, you can track it down here.

Anyhow, in the process of hunting for Girdle of Bones, I happened across an interesting blog on the same subject (joint replacement). It was put together by Steve Blanchard, a retired engineer and photography enthusiast living in Berkshire (Massachusetts), to record his joint replacement journey.

Steve’s blog presents a detailed account of the nuts and bolts of total hip replacement surgery. It’s a first-hand account from the perspective  of someone who has had both hips replaced, and his experience overlaps with my own in many respects. I imagine that he found the process of keeping the blog and updating his progress cathartic – it certainly was for me when I documented my own story.

The way Steve imparts his information show’s the difference in our story-telling outlook. I came to mine from a sociological perspective, embedding the information in a memoir format. Steve’s engineering background has informed his, making it more detailed and analytical. This includes the way he discusses everything from why one might have a hip replacement to pre- and post-operative issues, exercise and pain management.

For anyone about to embark on surgery and wanting some specific, detailed information on the joint replacement experience, I’d suggest that it’s well worth taking the time to have a look at Steve’s blog and following his journey. The information has been well thought out and Steve has been very generous in sharing so much detail.

steve blanchard hipblog

Back to Basics

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A friend of mine (in her mid twenties) recently confessed that when she left home a few years ago she had absolutely no idea how to cook. Growing up in the US, she’d thought that food ‘made from scratch’ involved packet / instant meals, rehydrated and heated. A meal made from individual fresh ingredients was virtually unheard of. ‘Geez, most of the fresh stuff – vegetables in particular – were a mystery to me the first time I saw them in a store.. I’ve learned pretty much everything I know since moving to Australia, especially in the last year.’

Although on one level I found this astounding – my own experience having been so very different – it also resonated with what I hear from other young (and not-so-young) people I meet. Namely that planning meals, shopping for ingredients, and then making even fairly basic food is not part of their worldview. They acknowledge the reality of the concept, but haven’t the skill set to engage with it on a practical level.

Processed foods, generally loaded with sugars and fats, are relatively inexpensive. Sadly, Australia is following the US trend and fast food outlets are becoming increasingly more accessible than stores selling fresh food. The result is that the combination of convenience, instant satisfaction (sugar high) and not having to plan makes them easy solution for many people.

And that’s what basic food preparation is about at its core. It’s not magic, it’s just planning – and experience.

I think it’s super important to provide our kids with the skills to feed themselves nutritious food made from scratch – and on a budget, since the trend in food prices is always on the rise. So here are some basic tips from when my kids were young:

  • I encouraged them to experiment in the kitchen. We started small, baking cookies together. It was fun – and everyone got to eat the results, which they found very satisfying.
  • From quite early on they started to help with basic food prep for dinner (grating carrots, cracking eggs into a bowl and whisking them, etc.). It entertained them and gave them the first stepping stones to managing in the kitchen independently.
  • Praise worked wonders. I found that it built keen kitchen-helpers and – in the long run – very capable cooks.
  • Show by example that making meals from fresh ingredients can be fun, easy and affordable.
  • Recipes need to be simple to start with – not too many ingredients or too many steps, otherwise it’s simply too daunting.
  • Create a recipe folder for each kid and each time they make something, print the recipe and add it to their file for future use. Boychilde recently told me that he still has his recipe file and continues to use it, 20+ years after we started it together. I’m pretty sure DaughterDearest does too  🙂

Having kids in the kitchen is messy and you could definitely do it more quickly and efficiently without their ‘help’ – at least to start with. But in due course they’ll start to pick up skills, knowledge and confidence. They’ll be able to start cooking meals occasionally and make decisions about grocery planning and what constitutes a balanced meal.

It’s skill building for their future – and it’s no small thing.

helping in the kitchen

Joy of Sharing

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This week I received a most beautiful and unexpected letter in the mail. Opening the plain brown envelope, I found an actual thought-out, pen-to-paper wonder that left me speechless and teary. It was from a fabulous young man, one I love dearly and who has been part of my ‘pack’ for almost two decades. When I first met him, he was finding his way – uncertain as to his path and about his prospects for the future. It was a joy to watch him become confident in so many different spheres, not the least of which was his welcome in our home. We witnessed him start to build a secure footing in the world and then embarking on journeys both emotional and intellectual that have shaped him over the intervening years. He always showed such promise – and this letter, this beautiful and moving missive, is indicative of just how very far he has travelled. My heart is full.

Resilience and Gingerbread

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What builds resilience in individuals – and what diminishes the capacity for resilience? I’ve been thinking about this a bit over the last few weeks whilst trying to manage the turbulence that is life-with-puppies.

First of all, what is resilience? Well, it’s generally considered to be the capacity individuals have to cope with difficulties/stress, ranging from personal tragedy or trauma to issues at home/in the workplace, financial pressures or health problems. The more resilience you have, the better you are at rolling with the punches that life throws at you, dusting yourself off and carrying on.

Different people cope with similar situations very differently, and sometimes even those who appear quite resilient in one set of circumstances may be very vulnerable in others. However, experience and observation (very unscientific, I know, but there you go) has shown me that resilience is an attribute that can both be learned and expanded upon with use. The key seems to be to try to avoid being overly change-averse. Or, to put it another way, to focus on having a flexible outlook.

I’ve found that honing my capacity to manage change has in turn made me more able to notice and manage stress when it arises, to think positively and even to learn new skills. That, combined with support from loved ones and a good night’s sleep makes an enormous difference in coping with vagaries of life.

But building resilience takes work and, at times, it can seem insurmountably difficult to achieve. Indeed, after multiple dog dramas and two emergency vet runs in as many weeks, my personal resilience capacity sank to what felt like an all time low. It happens. But T and I managed to accommodate the dramas, move through the emotional responses and, if not bounce back, exactly, at least totter back from the outcomes.

And each time we manage to bounce back – no matter how slowly we do it – we’re better equipped to do so the next time something comes up. We’re building our resilience without even realising it. We certainly know where our local emergency vet practice is located now and that Thursday nights is their busiest time!

Today we rewarded ourselves for surviving another puppy-infested-drama-laden-week with… gingerbread. We all need to be looked after and sometimes self-nurturing is the most useful gift we can give ourselves. Today, that gift is gingerbread. Lots of tasty gingerbread. I feel significantly more resilient with every slice 🙂

Nik’s Gingerbread Recipe

I’ve made this gingerbread loaf countless times over the past 30+ years. It’s never failed to be soft, moist and absolutely delicious. It’s dead easy to make and freezes well – and if you slice it beforehand, you get to have a treat a day for as many days as there are slices. This recipe makes two medium sized loaves or one really big one. Plan accordingly 🙂

Set the oven to 180C (350F). Line two medium-sized loaf pans with foil; lightly coat the foil with oil/butter.

3 cups plain flour , 1-cup sugar (I prefer raw sugar, but use whatever sort you like), 3 teaspoons ginger, pinch of salt, 2 teaspoons mixed spice, 1 teaspoon baking power, 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda – mixed with 1/4 cup of water, 1-cup oil, 3 eggs. 1-cup golden syrup (or treacle, if you prefer – both work), 1-cup lukewarm water

Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Pour the mix into the prepared loaf pans. Bake for approximately 55 minutes, or until a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack for about 10 minutes or so before turning out. Serve warm or cold – and with butter if you like it that way.

Note: if you bake this in one LARGE loaf pan (as I did today), then it’s a good idea to drop the temp to about 160-170 — it takes longer, but the top won’t get that interesting darker-than-dark shade and super-delicious crunchy bits 😛

Stories by Candlelight

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Last week I was privileged to attend an event entitled Recovery Stories by Candlelight, as part of the WAAMH Conference, held in Kings Park over two days.

The story event was the culmination of many weeks of preparation, during which 20 individuals took part in a series of professional storytelling workshops. Nine people were selected at the end to be part of the live performance evening, telling their stories of the lived experience of recovery from mental illness.

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The evening started with (delicious!) gourmet paella, made in ginormous pans, followed by a selection of decadent desserts. The Spirit of the Steets Choir then took the stage and performed four songs.  A few of the choir members shared their own stories of recovery through music, each of which was touching and heartfelt.

Then we got the featured stories – nine brave and amazing people who shared their hurt, struggle and determination to live life as fully as possible. The challenges that each individual had faced – that many still face – and the way they were articulated, left me speechless. These included coping with PTSD, postnatal psychosis, chronic anxiety, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, self-harm, schizoaffective disorders and eating disorders. The evening was an emotional roller coaster, many of the stories moving me to tears.

Stories unify us, providing us with insights – not only into the lives and experiences of others, but into our own complicated (and often unaddressed) issues. It’s often the spoken word, the heard and remembered stories that have the greatest impact.

Things I thought, en route home afterwards:

  • Humans are fragile
  • Wounded storytellers sharing their journey of healing wield power to shape the world around them
  • People need to be kind to themselves. Life can be a struggle and your inner you might make the difference to your survival.
  • We need to accept that whilst aspiring to more in life is fine, stepping back and being grateful for what is has value too
  • Take stock and be grateful – that you (I) have enough, whether it’s enough to eat, enough love, enough energy or enough strength

Thank you, WAAMH, for hosting this powerful event. Thank you, brave and beautiful Karen, for inviting me to share it with you.

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