It’s wildflower season in WA, a time when the usually grey-green landscape north of Perth puts on it’s holiday colours for an all-too-short time. This was as good an excuse as any for us to head off on a country jaunt. It also gave us the opportunity to use up our non-refundable  van hire ‘credit’ from November 2021 (the defunct Ghan-Nullabor adventure).  

I anticipated bush walks, photo opportunities and other wildflower-related shenaningans. And, whilst it was all that and more, the wildflowers also provided a glorious backdrop to an additional mission goal: hunting down the best vanilla slice north of Perth! 

The last time we were further north than Lancelin was en route home from our Darwin to Perth road trip, via the Gibb River Road (Oct 2019). On that trip we encountered a random couple also on their travels who, on discovering a mutual interest in vanilla slices, were effusive in their praise of the vanilla-flavoured delights of Northampton. “Make sure you go to the bakery,” they exclaimed. “You’ll love their vanilla slice. It’s the best in WA!” Sadly, the day we went through Northampton, the Shearer’s Shed Cafe (aka local bakery) was short staffed and the pastry cabinet was bare.

So Northampton was a definite ‘must do’ stop along the way on this trip. We got there on day three (of 14), with Himself by now as keen as mustard to finally enjoy his long-awaited and much-anticipated tasting of what we’d been referring to as ‘World’s Best Vanilla Slice‘ ever since 2019.

For those not familiar with a classic vanilla slice, here are the basics, as described by my resident  connoisseur: the slice should have a smooth, slightly rubbery set-custard filling, sandwiched between two layers of crisp puff pastry; this should be topped with a generous layer of (preferably white) vanilla icing glaze. To be clear, this means: no cream, no coconut or powdering of icing sugar on the top, no lattice (or other) biscuits as pastry replacement. If any of these options come into play, then it is, quite simply, NOT a vanilla slice – it’s just another pastry in the pastry cabinet.

So, back to Northampton and Himself’s tasting of ‘World’s best Vanilla Slice’…

From the moment we entered the cafe I could see the slice would not pass muster. It looked delicious in the pastry cabinet, but the ‘custard’ was clearly not ye olde bog standard yellow rubbery goop. It it was a fluffy, soft looking filling (pastry cream) that was definitely not going to get the tick of approval. And lo, this did indeed prove to be the case. The verdict was that, whilst very tasty, this just wasn’t ‘the real thing’. It was more the French style mille-feuille and Himself rated it about a 6/10 on the vanilla slice scale.

After waiting for almost three years for this tasty treat, disappointment levels were high. At least until we looked at the bigger picture, namely that most medium/small towns have at least one bakery. This meant that we (he) could do some active research along the way, comparing vanilla slices from each bakery we’d come to on the rest of the trip! The hunt was on!

Whilst not every place we visited actually had a bakery, those that did all seemed to have a clear understanding that a vanilla slice is a key component of any baked goods line-up in Australia. In the remaining 11 days of travel, several more slices were put to the test; overall Himself averaged a slice every other day and enjoyed every mouthful. 

The tastings :

#1 Northampton – The Shearing Shed Cafe: Custard not really custard; it was ‘tasty creamy goop’ – nice, but not authentic. Icing on top a bit thin and runny. 6/10.

#2 Denham Bakery: Custard authentic, but could have been a bit ‘chumpier’ (a technical term in the world of vanilla slice tastings, it seems). The icing (pink!) had coconut sprinkled on it (a definite no-no), which detracted from the overall score. 7.5/10.

#3 Coral Bay Resort Bakery. Custard a bit low on flavour; pink icing, but a reasonable 7.5 – 8/10. 

#4 (and #5) Kalbarri Hot Bread Shop: Icing was good (although pink) and custard just the right level of rubbery-solid (apparently!). This one was good enough for a return visit the next day, much to the amusement of the staff. 9/10!

#6 Jurien Bay Bakery: Authentic, but not very nice; possibly stale. Also, the staff was pretty grumpy. 7/10 max.

#7 Lancelin Offshore Cafe: Tasty, but not quite as good as Kalbarri Bakery. Lovely cafe though – and super friendly staff. Worth a second visit to try other goodies if we were there for a bit longer. 8 – 8.5.

So, for our in-house vanilla slice connoisseur, the winner was definitely the Kalbarri Hot Bread Shop. The only reason they didn’t get 10/10 is that Himself never gives a top score; that way, he says, there’s always room for improvement!

On the last leg home, after the final tasting, we developed the following tasting notes. They would have been helpful to have earlier, no doubt, but can (and will) be used in all future tastings. After all, we’re heading down south in a few months, and we’ll make sure we’ve compiled a list bakeries to visit by then!

Vanilla Slice – tasting notes
Filling: must be custard (not pastry cream).
Custard: consistency – rubbery & high density; must bulge when poked – but not be penetrated – and spring back on release quantity – not so much that the slice is too tall to bite; colour should be a nice deep yellow.
Pastry:  crisp puff pastry, not gluggy must have good adhesion to the custard, i.e. the top must peel off in one piece, leaving either a thin layer of pastry on the top of the slice or a thin smear of custard on the underside of the pastry top not biscuit!
Icing: vanilla icing glaze, preferably white stiff, not too thick or thin no coconut or powdered icing on top.
Flavour:  vanilla, but not too strong

Note 1: Just to be clear, these were not tasted by me – well, not more than a nibble to try the filling, anyway. I’m far more the ‘choose your pastry in the moment’ kinda person, although the Kalbarri Hot Bread Shop also do a deliciously indulgent jam doughnut (just saying).

Note 2: We did do heaps of other things, such as snorkel with green sea turtles in coral bay, go quad-biking, wave at whales from a sunset cruise boat, beach walks, adventured in Kalbarri – skywalk and suchlike, slurped best-ever mango smoothy (#bumbaks-in-canarvon), visited the space museum and replaced a much-loved 2019 coffee mug, hunted wildflowers, consumed yummy lunch (!) at Dongara pub (unplanned, but excellent) and heaps more.

Note 3: An Apollo Eurotourer is not necessarily the best choice for adventures of this sort. The van was comfy enough, but very cramped inside. But now we know – the grey-nomad-in-a-van life is not for us!

The Covid-rollercoaster continues to find new ways to make life fun for all. On that uncertain landscape, disrupted holiday plans are really a comparatively minor glitch. Even so, the past week turned out to a bit more of a challenge than we expected as we navigated our very own version of Covid-glitchiness.

To be fair, we’ve been remarkably fortunate here in Western Australia so far. Unlike Victoria, New South Wales and (recently) the ACT, where Covid-consequences have been rife, people within WA have (mostly) been free to wander-out-yonder in their ‘backyards.’  And, with no adverse border conditions in place between WA, the Northern Territory and South Australia, we decided that it seemed like a reasonably safe bet to plan a trip that included travel through all of them.

After all (and with apologies to Dr Seuss), with brains in our heads – and feet in our shoes – we can steer ourselves in any direction we choose. What we came up with in the end was a cunning plan that involved a plane, a train and an automobile: we’d fly to Darwin, hop on The Ghan, adventure through Katherine (enjoying the Nitmiluk Gorge cruise off-train experience) and Alice Springs (with the Mount Gillen helicopter flight add-on, just for the fun of it) in the NT. We’d arrive in Adelaide after 3 days, just in time to pick up a camper van for the next stage of the journey.

This would involve nipping into the Barossa Valley, dropping past Port Augusta, stopping in Kimba (halfway across Australia) to visit its Big Galah, then heading towards the WA border via Ceduna and the Head of Bight (such views, apparently!). After crossing the Nullabor (to ‘baptise’ me as a real West Australian!), we’d head home via Esperance, the new Wellington Dam wall mural and so forth. This sounded nice and flexible and the camper meant we could stop wherever / wherever we felt so inclined. Hi-ho, adventures!

So leave was arranged, pet sitters organised, bookings made, and deposits paid. With every state having its own rules and regs around Covid and border control, we also had to apply for Northern Territory and South Australian border approvals, as well as a G2G pass to get back into WA. The approvals and relevant apps then had to be loaded onto our phones for ease of access. Sorted – or so we thought…

As is the way of these things, however, just days before we were due to leave, two new cases of Covid emerged in Katherine. A collective groan from all and sundry as we heard that the first case was a fully vaccinated person in Katherine (who initially tested negative for Covid, then positive 4 days later), the second a close personal contact, and both were infectious in the community for several days. None of that boded well for our trip.

Every day friends asked us whether we were still going / would the borders stay open / would the trip go ahead / would we lose our deposits – and so on. With no crystal ball readily to hand, no formal mandate from the WA Police regarding border closures and no notification from various hire companies that the trip was cancelled, we just thought good thoughts and pragmatically hoped for the best.

We ensured there was plenty of dog food in the house, had our fabulous pet sitters Jess & Chris round for afternoon tea and a catch up on the latest dog feeding regime etc., paid the balance on each leg of the trip, packed a laptop in case one of us ended up having to work remotely, booked an Uber and, at last, headed for the airport – appropriately masked.

Four hours of Business Class relaxation later (thanks to frequent flyer points) we landed in Darwin, where we turned our phones back to this charming message from the WA Police:

Your G2G Pass application: This means you are not permitted to travel into Western Australia.

Application status:UNSUCCESSFUL
Reason for unsuccessful application:Travel from/via Northern Territory

The full implications of this message were unclear, other than that our previously ‘successful’ applications had been revoked and that we’d need to reapply for WA border entry when we got to Adelaide at the end of the week. All we could do was to claim our baggage and, as per advice from authorities, make our (still masked) way directly to our hotel.  There we stayed, venturing precisely nowhere until the morning in order to limit any possible exposure – even MenuLogging some pizzas rather than trying to hunt down a nearby restaurant. Many good thoughts were thought and Zen moments attempted as we waited, hoping like crazy that the other shoe wouldn’t fall…

Zen contemplations, Darwin

In the morning, we masked up, checked out, hopped into a taxi and headed over to the Hilton – the designated pick up point for The Ghan. As it turned out, the train had had some sort of issue just out of Adelaide and been delayed for many hours, which resulted in it getting in to Darwin later than expected. For us, that meant a few more hours hurry-up-and-wait, so we had a leisurely breakfast at the Hilton, used the facilities and chatted to other Ghan-hopefuls. We were finally bussed out to the rail passenger terminal at midday, about 20km out of Darwin. We were on our way…

But no, another surprise awaited us there: more cases of Covid had come to light in Katherine and the town had gone into a snap lockdown. This meant that our scheduled stop there was cancelled. Instead, we would continue on straight through to Alice Springs, which would actually make up for the late departure and result in us arriving there more or less on time – so there you go: swings and roundabouts!

The Ghan, Alice Springs

It was a relief to finally settle into our tiny-weenie, cute-as-can-be cabin (with its equally cute en suite). Dumping our bags, we headed down to the lounge car for drinks and socialising before lunch – and the food and drinks just kept on coming! The train was only at about 1/3 capacity (as a result of NSW and Victoria cancellations) and the group in our section bonded quite quickly. About half the people were from WA, one from Brisbane and the rest from South Australia. Lots of shared stories and laughs and a stunning sunset – a good evening after such a ragged start.

We woke at about 3am to find the train stopped in the middle of nowhere; I’m guessing the absence of the soothing clickety-clack train sounds is what disturbed us. There we remained until sunrise (about 5am), before carrying on towards Alice. About an hour later there was an announcement: many apologies wrapped around the fact that South Australia had closed its borders in response to the Katherine outbreak and that only SA residents would be permitted to cross the NT/SA border; our border passes had been revoked and all non-SA passengers would have to disembark in Alice and make their way home.

Consternation ensued. More announcements. More apologies. Breakfast. More announcements. Assistance with arrangements, if required, etc. At the end of all that, we a) didn’t get to go on our fabulous helicopter adventure in Alice, b) didn’t get to spend our last day and night on The Ghan, c) missed lunch completely, and d) and had to cancel our camper van pick up in Adelaide. We DID get to a) hurry-up-and-wait a whole lot more, b) let our pet sitters know that we’d be back a whole LOT sooner than planned, c) scurry to find a flight back to Darwin and then on to Perth, d) find a hotel to spend the night in, e) reapply for returning-resident G2G pass back into WA and f) load the WA Police home quarantine tracking app – with facial recognition – onto our phones (!) 

Many hours and much anxious waiting in various places later we finally landed back in Perth, went through border control, grabbed a taxi home and  entered 14 days mandatory home-quarantine. We’d been gone for 4 days and it felt like the full 14! The longest not-exactly-holiday we’ve ever been on. The dogs were delighted! I’d guess it felt like 14 days to them too 🙂

Checking in with the G2G Now app is now to be part of our daily routine until 4 December. The app info says it’s “quick, fun and easy” and, whilst I agree with the quick and easy part, fun it decidedly is not. Our phones sound a raucous and persistent alarm when the app wants to ‘see’ us – this happens once a day at random times, different times for each of us. We then need to open the app and allow it to take our photo and check our location. Yesterday mine was at 5pm, today 8am – both times causing me to leap to my feet and to go phone-hunting! By the end of 14 days I’ll have even more sympathy for Pavlov’s cat!!

Meantime, we’ve undergone our first Covid tests (nasty!) and received confirmation of negative results. Hurrah! Test #2 will be on Day 12. Until then we hurry-up-and-wait some more, but at least it’s at home and not in hotel quarantine. BoyChilde and his lovely lass dropped off some milk (to the gate), along with chocs, biscotti and fresh cherries yesterday > champs! We have access to grocery deliveries and a well stocked freezer, the pool’s at a very pleasant 30 degrees and the sun’s shining – so our trials and tribulations are minor.  AND I’ll be able to get some work done on my ‘round-to-it’ aka my mosaic mural project, which might even be finished by Christmas, thanks to all this!

As Dr Seuss says, “Out there things can happen, and frequently do, to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew. Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!